The older I get, the more I say to myself, "Today, I will try to make everybody think I've got it all together."

This afternoon, I put my right hand into my right pocket to get my car keys. Not there! Shifted my car keys from my left hand to my right hand, so that I could put my left hand into my left pocket to get my car keys. Not there!
It was a long walk home to get my spare keys. Just kidding! I caught a cab.